Thursday, April 15, 2010
I'm sitting in the waiting room waiting for them to finish up what they need to do to Cody and i am overwhelmed with the amount of thoughts and prayers that are surrounding him and our family. My broken heart swells with the knowledge that you all are praying so hard for his recovery. The last 3 days have reaffirmed my faith and belief that prayer works!!!! I feel so helpless most of the time, Igo to sit with him and it kills me that I can't touch him , kiss him or tell him how very much I LOVE HIM, and am so proud of him. He is the strongest man I know or will ever meet.He hasn't shown much sign of waking up but has had some muscle movements. Last night when I was with him I was talking to him and holding his hand and rubbing his stomach , he really seems to like that, he opened his mouth and pulled his ams, I was so excited thinking yea!!! Come on Bubba you can do this, He thrashed his head and neck and his blood pressure sky rocketed alarms started screaming I my happiness quickly turned to terror. His heart was beating sooooo fast his chest looked like his heart was trying to get out. My confidence fell to the floor and slithered out the door. I have felt this overwhelming fear ever since then. The tears started and I can't seem to make them quit. How could I still have any tears??? I have cried buckets. We went to the chapel here at the hospital this morning because I am feeling very lost right now. How could a broken heart feel more broken????? We prayed , said a group prayer and Cody Pratt read the 23 psalms, peace settled over me . God is holding Cody in the palm of his hands, giving him strength and healing ,I know he is , he has to be , I'm not ready to let him go!!!!! Not being able to touch him is killing me , Please Lord tell him I Love Him. I'm sorry if i'm rambling my thoughts are scattered, but want you to hear from me occasionaly just to let you know that the girls read me your texts and it overwhelms my soul the amount of people that are praying for my little man( i've called him that since he was born) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep them coming we need them more and more everyday. I NEED THEM , they are my life line right now. I have always been Cody's true north, you mom with son's know what i mean, the one person that stands with you and for you no matter what, I am so afraid since I can't touch him or talk to him that he will go the wrong way, please let him come back to me. Time to go see Bubba , PRAY PRAY PRAY that Cody finds his true north!!!!!!!